joie09’s blog

we're of different races

would it ever be possible for us to mingle faces?

would it ever be correct for my loyalty to be to you

and not to that of my complected brotha?

would you be ok indulging in the essence of pigmentation

from a mild delictation of grace and beauty

from these iron wood cuties that have symbolic references to me

you would need to be open to explore my country

my continent of culture and adversity

I could open a world for you and introduce you to the beauty

That the earth has in store for you.

which is the minds and adventures of my people.

But I have one question for you.

would it be too uncomfortable for you?

would you be able to be open to a new pride of people

courageous, adventurous, beautiful people?

or will you will nilly back and forth stuck in ignorant ways

from a tyrant of people that captivated beautiful minds.

My one question will always be.

Are you confident enough for me?

There is something about a strong black man
that contentiously works through his predicaments
yet still continues to persevere beyond belief
succeeds beyond and above typical "HOOD" expectations
He stole my heart at 16.
with no sex. no touch. no physical contact.
Just words. simple syllables.
mouthpiece that only a street savvy nigga can spit to me
a women. he respected my class from the first day
he admired my sophistication and my virginity.
He commenced to chase
and I allowed it.
So I could mold him grow with him.
He was such a rot wilder then.
Now. He's grown into a great Dane
A king. I admire.
Now tables have turned.
He respected me enough to build a relevant friendship.
One that stands out like a sore thumb
amongst the rusty nails constantly stabbing through my life.
He's my diamond Prince. My man. My King.
The only Man. in my life that I confide in wholeheartedly
with the exception of the men that I was born to Love.
He keeps me intrigued and loved
 all night conversations about life,love, and the pursuit of happiness
I.m speaking to myself. a kindred soul. that I've interpreted as a whole
a diamond in the rough. my soulmate for life.
My royal dark chocolate man of many faces.
Tend to be full of Honey and gold.
He has  melted my soul and made me whole.
My project man.
My hood clean up
I can not control my urge to help mold.
This beautiful species that God decided to call a man.
Enhancing every spectacle of my being bringing
the erotic fein to my outer layer.
I can not help this premonition and this ostentatious
contemplation. That we will one day live in eternal peace.
But until that day. I will keep it hidden in my heart.
locked away in secret passages away from empty pryers.
He's my heart. He's had it from the start. But I gotta keep this pre-depositon.
This inevitable feeling a secret.
shhhhhh...... cause I don't want to ruin it!.
 

One of my best friends/business partner

just wrote a blog that broke my heart.

mended it.

regulated my sense of being.

took me outside of my selfishness.

and showed me that I can love again wholeheartedly.

She jolted my emotions.

I haven't been touched by a writer in a while ( with the exception of Olivia)

NOW OLIVIA'S POEMSS

Olivia. her poems. make me fall in love.

love openly.

hurt for love, cry for love, die for love

and rebuild my strength in being a strong black women.

a women that can coexist in a world full of labels.

allowing me to be free being me through words.

simple syllables that have a thousand meanings.

I live in the intricate fixtures of words flowing in a rhyme telling a story of time.

I'm addicted to my craft.

I'm addicted to writing.......................

I had to stop mentally fearing sex. I completley made this monster, out of a beautiful thing. Now I'm gonna use repetition in this blog. cause I figured out, that I'm blown by the act of this. It's like dancing. giggin. vibing. if you never forget you're dancing. sex is the most beautiful thing. A fun relaxing thing. it's a spiritual welcoming thing and enhanced dancing type of thing. but he's in so deep. which makes it better to be pleased.

sex in the form of  dance is a beautiful thing

I disregarded making dick a monster

instead I made it a gold prize

ready to take pride and indulge in.

I got a job!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. i'm so excited. I start Monday at 1 o' clock. my uniform is black from head to toe. Plus I have to wear long sleeves cause of my tattoos. Sucks to be me. Only because for the past few days it's been between 90 and 100 degrees. which means. This summer will be a scorcher and being that I catch the bus and light rail to work I will be dripping sweat by the time I arrive at the mall. I hate to sweat so I will be disgusted with myself by the time I arrive. lol. but. all is well when you're chasing money. and I'm clearly chasing moneyor wealth. So cheers to me for the steamy summer and a good ass job at Godiva Chocolate.

I will be dipping strawberries for a livin.....;-)

my hands are clamy. my stomach is sick

my body is running off low fuel and energy drinks

i feel like im in over drive although I am sleep deprived

pondering new converstaions to enlighten my screenplay

can't concentrate with this mild pain in my stomach

my body is running away from me as if it's on speed

this energy drinks got me feelin like a fein

tampering with my being

I can barely swallow anything

i'm through with the drug of an energy drink

defeating the purpose of their rightful meaning

throwing off my system with the crack within them

I hate these things called energy drinks

that everyone believes will help keep up the being

I feel like a groggy animal petitioned by my system

I'm threw with these things called ENERGY DRINKS

cause there just a fascination of the drug called crack

which tries to make people relax before they break down and crack

so here i am up once again

the intake of my first line

little to none....silk baby powder

smooth as a baby's bottom

snorted so smoothly

immediately mouth went numb

pupils dialated and dilapidated

my first line. the first intake

chasing a craving that never was sweet

yet it tasted so sweet.

now I know the feeling of this foreign drug.

I'm far from addicted.

yet. infatuated with the stigma of it

does it work for me.

who knows. I live fast and die soft

that was my first intake.

my first choice of thought!.

yea I cry

I appear hard and non-emotional

i'm emotional. very emotional

i have a gift of discernment sent from heaven

I feel others deficits.

i cry over poltical issues

race issues, saving my people issued

negligent father issues.

no tears or sympathy for the race of people

that brought us to America and hung us dry

my heart cries for the moral lies and unfamiliar times

that we spare to try not to hide.

I shed many tears for America's beliefs

And how they will suffer in grief

For their ignorance

and racial hold that they have on this country.

I cry for my freedom and my right to be one with my people

mild hearted people. where race is not an issue just a topic.

where my femininty and my dignity matters more

than the color of my skin

the color that will not dissappear with water and soap

only with a fatal gloat from the pale above.

we're superior to their inferior

so I cry for the terrorist we stand by right here in America.

I cry daily....humming tranquil thoughts to ease this adveristy

in centuries of a torn country.

My God and my buddhist teaching soothe me

My tears are sufficient and abnormal.

I cry..misery is not beneath me or hovering over me,

I cry to set my people free, to live in luxury and subside the misery.

I cry for me.

I  explore endless possibilities and endless fantasies like everyone else!

In this time of pressure and chaos I should be studying my ass off trying to maintain this 3.0 that I've gained.

Well.....I'm not. I'm typing to you world. I have a 60 page screenplay due on Mon. morning that I am attempting  to turn in early.

I have a open book and open notes final on Friday morning. No worries I just gotta write up the notes so I wont be searching through the book the entire time like a chicken with my head cut off.

Plus. I have a WST english placement test on saturday morning. since I just made my minor english. well....well...welll. It'll all get done. this I know. But I have a serious illness called procrastination and party syndrome.

I've been taking care of summer school business and summer work business. and neglected final class businesss. At least I still have time to redeem myself. I just have to pull an all nighter.

Tonight will be my first all nighter. YAYYYYYY!!!!!. i'm excited. I love this script so yea. I just get stressed when writing it because I've became a perfectionist someway somwhow.

Movies, movies movies tonight. and beer. will keep me occupied while in  my intense study session.

smokey smokey....maybe. I think not though because when I come down I'm gonna lay down.

so uhhhh........i'm rambling on about the stress that I've caused by neglecting my bi laws and making my own laws to maintain this marvelous 3.0. It's all about the last minute sessions. ANd In the end. I STILL PREVAIL!

my cousin's movie is the shit. He is a talented screenwriter and director in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. His name is Marcus Richardson and the fim is online called thetalentedmovie.com please support and watch it.

Thanks!

peace out,

Jo